With NIKE stocks (socks?! LOL) plummeting and righteous anger perfectly placed there is no time to waste in getting the crazy, wild, and somehow true story of the events of Sept. 3rd, 2018 up onto the big screen. With a few backers already on board, plus James Woods signed on to play the patriot, sock-cutting cameraman we are just 99% away from our fundraising goal! I have hopes of getting Peter Berg on board, I saw him once at an Arby’s and I go there every day for lunch anyway so I am bound to see him again. I am confident once he gets a load of this hot intro I have whipped up he will be begging to get Donnie (?) Wahlberg and the crew back together to get this into cinemas this Christmas. Take a read for yourselves and if you feel the same way that we do please send us cash and any NIKE products you no longer want to support with money you already spent! Enjoy!

Chris Calogero is a comedian and writer in Brooklyn. He’s been featured on the front page of Funny or Die.

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